Vivah Dharma

I am sex life which is not contrary to religious principles, O lord of the Bhāratas [Arjuna].

Marriage is actually a duty performed in mutual cooperation as directed in the authoritative scriptures for spiritual advancement.

As a fort commander very easily conquers invading plunderers, by taking shelter of a wife one can conquer the senses, which are unconquerable in the other social orders.

The marriage ceremony, for example, is considered to be one of these sacrifices. It is called vivāha-yajña.

Marriage on the principles of religious life is therefore current in all civilized human society because that is the way for restricted sex life.

Marriage or the combination of a man with a woman is necessary for progeny, but it is not meant for sense enjoyment.

A Krishna Conscious marriage is not based on sense gratification but rather mutual cooperation between husband and wife for making advancement in spiritual life and also for raising Krishna Conscious children.

To get nice son, that is the idea of marriage. Not for sense gratification.

In a Krishna Conscious marriage the basic principle is for both husband and wife to serve Krishna nicely and to help the partner advance in spiritual life.

Married life in Krishna Consciousness is the perfection of married life because the basic principle is that the wife will help the husband so that he may pursue Krishna Consciousness, and similarly the husband will help the wife to advance in Krishna Consciousness.

Instead of being agitated in mind, it is better to become a married man and in peaceful mind execute Krishna Consciousness. That is my verdict.

One must either strictly control his senses, or else he must get himself married.

Marriage means taking complete charge of a woman and living peacefully without debauchery.

If husband and wife are attached to one another for advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, their relationship of cooperation is very effective for such advancement.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

This reciprocation of service and love between husband and wife is the ideal of a householder's life.

A woman must be trained to be submissive to the will of her husband. Westerners contend that this is a slave mentality for the wife, but factually it is not; it is the tactic by which a woman can conquer the heart of her husband.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

When there are no fights between husband and wife, the goddess of fortune automatically comes to the home.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

As Lord Rāmacandra is the ideal husband (eka-patnī-vrata), mother Sītā is the ideal wife.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

Both she and Subhadrā became absorbed in thoughts of Kṛṣṇa and attained the same results as their husbands.

He could have refused her with strong words expressing impossibility, but he was not as spiritually strong as Vidura.

It is the duty of the husband to liquidate his debt to his wife. The wife gives her sincere service to the husband, and he becomes indebted to her.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

Between the husband and wife, one person is sufficient to execute this devotional service. Because of their good relationship, both of them will enjoy the result.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

If a husband and wife are very much attached to one another in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they will both benefit because Kṛṣṇa is the center of their existence.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

Mahārāja Yayāti had delivered Devayānī from the well, and finally, as a dutiful husband, he instructed her with the story about the he-goat and she-goat and thus delivered her from the misconception of material happiness.

Because of her association with her great husband, Mahārāja Yayāti, Devayānī became purified, adopted the means of bhakti-yoga, and thus became liberated.

If there is no quarrel between husband and wife, the goddess of fortune automatically comes to that home. The fight between husband and wife should be taken as lightly as the fight between two goats.

Merely a house is not a home, for it is a wife who gives a home its meaning.

Instead of being influenced by your wife, you have influenced her to take to Krishna consciousness.

The actual system is that the husband is Spiritual Master to his wife, but if the wife can bring her husband into practicing this process, then it is all right that the husband accepts wife as Spiritual Master.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

As one can cross over the ocean with seagoing vessels, one can cross the dangerous situation of the material ocean by living with a wife.

Although the gṛhastha desires sense gratification, he acts according to Vedic instructions. The gṛhamedhi, however, who is interested only in sense gratification, does not follow any Vedic instruction.

A husband and wife can turn the home into a place as good as Vaikuṇṭha, even while in this material world.

In the brahmacārī-āśrama, vānaprastha-āśrama and sannyāsa-āśrama there is no scope for sex life, whereas sex is allowed in gṛhastha life under regulations.

Those who stay at home as householders must act to earn their livelihood, and instead of trying to enjoy the results of their work themselves, they should offer these results to Kṛṣṇa, Vāsudeva.

While working to earn his livelihood as much as necessary to maintain body and soul together, one who is actually learned should live in human society unattached to family affairs, although externally appearing very much attached.

All the rules and regulations apply equally to the householder and the sannyāsī... The gṛhastha, however, is given permission by the spiritual master to indulge in sex during the period favorable for procreation.

One who is situated in household life and who systematically conquers his mind and five sense organs is like a king in his fortress who conquers his powerful enemies.

The mind too absorbed in material activities can be engaged in the service of the Personality of Godhead and become fixed in full transcendental consciousness.

Although he has a wife, a householder should not use his senses for sex life unnecessarily.

In this way become a spiritual master and try to liberate everyone in this land.

It does not matter whether the spiritual master is a gṛhastha (householder), a sannyāsī or even a Śūdra.

Our acharya Bhaktivinode Thakura was the perfect householder and we should take his example.

All my students who are married, they are doing preaching work more than sannyāsī.

You must live just like a respectable married couple and earn money as a Grhastha, and spend 50% for Krishna — that is the real program.

So to marry and to become an exemplary householder is the ideal life of Krishna consciousness.

Without being attached to the fruits of activities, one should act as a matter of duty, for by working without attachment one attains the Supreme.

It is far better to discharge one's prescribed duties, even though faultily, than another's duties perfectly. Destruction in the course of performing one's own duty is better than engaging in another's duties.

Certainly I have a desire to marry, and your daughter has not yet married or given her word to anyone. Therefore our marriage according to the Vedic system can take place.

Therefore, desiring to marry a girl of like disposition who may prove to be a veritable cow of plenty in my married life...

Man and woman should not be united simply on the consideration of sex life. There are many other considerations, especially character and taste.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

It is only by God's grace that a girl gets a husband suitable to her heart.

The general procedure of Vedic marriage is that a father offers his daughter to a suitable boy.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod.

Good population in human society is the basic principle for peace, prosperity and spiritual progress in life.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

By the evil deeds of those who destroy the family tradition and thus give rise to unwanted children, all kinds of community projects and family welfare activities are devastated.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

Whatever action a great man performs, common men follow. And whatever standards he sets by exemplary acts, all the world pursues.

The conditions for having good progeny in society are that the husband should be disciplined in religious and regulative principles and the wife should be faithful to the husband.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

This is especially true for boys; if the mother is not good, there cannot be good sons.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

Child-worship is more important than deity-worship. If you cannot spend time with him, then stop the duties of pujari... These children are given to us by Krishna, they are Vaishnavas and we must be very careful to protect them. These are not ordinary children, they are Vaikuntha children.

We should understand the necessity for maintaining family life in human society and should thus abolish this artificial law known as divorce.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

Lord Rāmacandra took a vow to accept only one wife and have no connection with any other women. He was a saintly king, and everything in His character was good, untinged by qualities like anger.

Marriage now takes place simply by agreement. Dāmpatye 'bhirucir hetuḥ.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

Married life is serious business. If you have taken wife, you must be completely responsible for her throughout your life. She shall always serve and obey you without fail, and you shall instruct her in Krishna Consciousness and act as her spiritual master.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

This marriage business should not be taken as a farce, but is a very serious matter.

Both your wife and yourself cannot think of marrying again... The vow of marriage should be maintained throughout life.

There should be a formal contract signed by both parties at each marriage, voting that there will be no separation.

Lord Rāmacandra and Sītā Devī are the Vedic ideal of a devoted couple. Rāma kept his vow of faithfulness to one wife for his entire life (eka-patnī-vrata), and Sītā remained devoted to Him through every trial and separation. Their love was not mere sentiment — it was grounded in dharma, making their union a model of loyalty and steadfastness that the scriptures hold up for all generations.

Rukmiṇī Devī, who would become Kṛṣṇa's most prominent queen, sent Him a secret letter expressing her devotion and asking Him to carry her away before she could be given to another. Kṛṣṇa honored her courageous love and accepted her as His wife. Their life together in Dvārakā — Kṛṣṇa caring for her in every detail, Rukmiṇī serving Him with complete devotion — exemplifies a marriage where the love of both partners is rooted in God consciousness.

Devahūtī sought out the sage Kardama Muni as her husband and served him with complete patience and devotion through years of austerity. Their marriage led to the birth of Lord Kapila — who later taught Devahūtī the path of liberation. Kardama fulfilled his deepest duty as a husband: he guided his wife to spiritual freedom before departing for the forest.

When Nārada Muni visited Kṛṣṇa's palaces in Dvārakā, he found Kṛṣṇa caring perfectly for each of His 16,108 queens in separate palaces — fulfilling every duty of a husband and king with full attention. He rose early, performed worship, honored guests, and lived like the ideal householder. By doing all this, Kṛṣṇa demonstrated that married life itself, when lived with God at the center, can be fully spiritual.

The marriage of Mahārāja Yayāti and Devayānī was a long journey — beginning with dharmic obligation, tested by Yayāti's thousand years of seeking pleasure, and finally redeemed when he renounced it all and lovingly guided Devayānī toward Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Their story teaches that even a marriage strained by difficulty can ultimately lead both partners to liberation — if one partner turns to spiritual wisdom and shares it with the other.

The story of King Puranjana and his beautiful queen is an allegory: the king represents the soul, and the queen represents the mind attached to sense objects. When a soul becomes overly absorbed in the senses it loses its spiritual direction. The story does not condemn marriage — it warns against losing oneself in it. A couple who keep God at the center of their home will not fall into the trap the allegory describes.

Lord Śiva and Pārvatī Devī represent devotee spouses whose love is rooted in service to the Supreme Lord. Pārvatī performed the most intense austerities to win Śiva as her husband; Śiva accepted her and honored her as his equal in spiritual life. Their partnership exemplifies a couple who lift each other's spiritual aspirations rather than pulling each other toward sense gratification.

Persons who are strongly entrapped by the consciousness of enjoying material life, and who have therefore accepted as their leader a similar blind man attached to external sense objects, cannot understand that the goal of human life is to return home, back to Godhead.

When irreligion is prominent in the family, O Kṛṣṇa, the women of the family become polluted, and from the degradation of womanhood, O descendant of Vṛṣṇi, comes unwanted progeny.

This passage reflects Śrīla Prabhupāda's traditional Vedic perspective. As he himself taught, apply with consideration of time, place, and circumstance.

O Kṛṣṇa, maintainer of the people, I have heard by disciplic succession that those whose family traditions are destroyed dwell always in hell.

There are three gates leading to this hell — lust, anger and greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the soul.